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Anxiety & Sex

If you thought this post was going to be about sex helping with anxiety you'd be very wrong. Of course, like any physical activity, sex can help with anxiety, but I would like to talk about how sex can cause anxiety, more specifically, sexual abuse.

In the last couple of days it has come to light that Leo from the Bachelorette may have harassed women in his past. I am not confirming or denying, nor am I saying I believe one thing or another. In reality, I have no idea what he is or isn't guilty of in his past. That said, this new war between him and Bekah M. has brought up some difficult things from my own past.

In high school I was a victim of sexual assault, and like most women I have had to fend off unwanted sexual advances from various men and boys throughout my life. Needless to say, this inspired a lot of anxiety for me when it comes to sex. Over the years I have learned how to deal with it better. Sexual assault is no joking matter, ever, and it can severely hurt, both emotionally and physically, those that fall victim.

As a society, we can all get better and learn more about what makes people uncomfortable. I've learned that some men don't even realize what they're doing is uncomfortable for women and that itself is very dangerous. As women (or men) we get to find our own voices and speak out when someone is doing something or saying something that makes us uncomfortable. We are all accountable.

How does this relate to anxiety? Anxiety can be triggered by anything and we all have our own things that make us anxious. Everyone deserves to have a happy and healthy sex life, but if it's riddled with fear it's difficult for it to truly be happy. My best advice is to own your own sexuality and come to the very real realization that your attacker or abuser was not acting out against you, but instead acting out in response to their own insecurities. Above all us, remember that you are never alone. The #MeToo movement is alive and well and there are always people out there that not only can, but want to support you.